A warning notice for when you buy software!

Some months ago, I upgraded to GIRLFRIEND 1.0 from DRINKING MATES 4.2 which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run GIRLFRIEND 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, GIRLFRIEND 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LADSNIGHTOUT 3.1, FOOTBALL 4.5 AND PLAYBOY 6.2. Successive versions of GIRLFRIEND proved no better. I tried a shareware program, SLAPPER 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my hard drive, forcing me to shut down for several months.

Eventually, I tried to run GIRLFRIEND 1.2 and 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage again to my hard drive and I had to rely on a floppy. I eventually upgraded to FIANCEE 1.0 only to discover that this product had to be upgraded further to WIFE 1.0 almost immediately.

While WIFE 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come with FREESEXPLUS and CLEANHOUSE 2003.

Shortly after this upgrade however, I found that WIFE 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in WIFE 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

WIFE 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning launch TURBOSTROP and WHINGE. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try and guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that WIFE 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring SHOE SHOP BROWSER for new attachments which it automatically downloads (often with no discernable difference between products), and HAIRSTYLE EXPRESS, which needs to be reinstalled every third week even though there is no loss of performance.

Also when WIFE 1.0 attaches itself to my WHEELS hard drive, it often crashes. WIFE 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MOTHERINLAW, which cannot be turned off.

Recently I have been tempted to install MISTRESS 2005, but apparently there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if WIFE 1.0 detects MISTRESS 2005 (or earlier versions) it tends to delete all of MONEY and FREESEXPLUS before uninstalling itself.