A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself in the ocean. When she went down to the docks a handsome young sailor noticed her tears and took pity on her.

"Look, you've got a lot to live for," he said. "I'm off to America in the morning and if you like I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped an arm around her shoulder, winked at her and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded. After all, what did she have to lose?

That night, the sailor took her aboad and hid her in a lifeboat. Every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they shagged furiously.

Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get to go to America and in return he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the Captain replied. "This is the Dover to Calais ferry."