A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress
>party.
>He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so
>he
>writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
>
>A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
>"Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit.
>The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your
wooden
>leg
>you will be just right as a pirate. " The man thinks this is terrible
>because they have just emphasized his wooden leg, so he writes a
letter
>of
>complaint.
>
>A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:
>"Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel.
>Please find enclosed a monk's habit.
>The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you
>will
>really look the part. " The man is really furious now, because the
>company
>has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his
>bald
>head.
>
>So he writes a really rude letter of complaint. A few days later he
>gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying
letter:
>
>Dear Sir,
>Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.
>Pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your head, stick your wooden leg up
>your @rse and go as a f#cking toffee apple."